Yer Hard Edged Dictionary o' Glaswegian and Scottish words.


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Glaswegian Words

Doric Words

Gaelic Words

Top 10 Scottish Words

Rabbie Burns Poems

Stuart McLean Poems

McGonagall Poems

Top 100 Scottish Songs

Top 100 Scottish Rhymes

Funny Scottish Scripts

Scottish Cities

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Scottish Munro's

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Scottish Rivers

Scottish Whisky

Scottish Boys Names

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Doric Carnival

Images of Scotland

Glasgow Race for Life

Glasgow Race for Life 09


Scottish & Scotland

Funny Books by thon Scottish guy Stuart McLean - available UK, Canada, USA and ither countries.

Noo go an get wan - right!


No' Rabbie Burns - funny Scottish Poems

Rabbie Burns Scottish Poet Books

Why Did the Haggis Cross the Road? - hilarious Scottish jokes.


A Midge in Your Hand is Worth Two Up Your Kilt - witty Scottish proverbs.

A Midge in Your Hand is Worth Two Up Your Kilt

Ned Speak

Learn  the lingo of the Scottish Ned - and you will love them even more.

glasgow slang words

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 Glaswegian words beginning : H
Glaswegian English Example and Translation
Hackit Ugly - mainly used when referring to a female who does not look like Laetitia Casta. [It would appear that there are no hackit men in the world.]  Hey hen yur dead hackit.

Your not the best looking girl in the circus but how about going on a date?

Haddy Haddock. Often used as a term of abuse for an ugly person.


Ye couldnae count tae ten withoot using yer fingers ya wee haddy ye.


Haddock or Haddock - spot the difference:

Haddock scottish

ugliest man in world


Haff Half  
Haggis A small animal, slightly smaller than a rabbit, that can be found on the Scottish mountainside. It is able to change its coat colour at will so as to blend in with the tartan of the clan of the region it is inhabiting.

Hunting season is limited to 12th until 25th of January as the only time these creatures are eaten is at Burns' Suppers.

To a Vegetarian Haggis

Oh go’en hide yer sleekit face,
Great charlatan o’ the pudding-race!
Ahin them a' ye tak your place,
Onion, lentil, and baked beans:
Weel are ye wordy o’ great disgrace,
As lang’s my arm.

Ye Pow'rs, wha mak mankind despair,
And dish them out their bill o' fare,
All Scotland hates yer stinking ware,
That smells like lavvies;
But, if ye wish her gratefu' prayer,
Cowp yon veggie haggis!

Copyright Stuart McLean : from No' Rabbie Burns 


Wild Scottish Haggis

Wild Scottish Haggis

Hail or Hale Whole Naw, Ah don't want tae share a fish supper - Ah want the hale lot.
Hain Husband  
Hairy Derogatory term for girl. A wee hairy is most likely to come from the less affluent parts of Glasgow, such as Barlanark, Pollock, Easterhouse or Drumchapel. A wee hairy's sole aim in life is to get pregnant so that she can trap a man and also get a council house. Subsequently she will give birth to a wee brat on an annual basis. Hey, ya wee hairy away back tae Maryhill where you belong.

Gosh a working class girl has absentmindedly wandered into the Utopia of Bearsden I should perhaps remind her of her roots.


A Hairy

hairy girl

Half or Hauf A measure of whisky. Usually preceded by Wee ( a wee hauf) to imply that it will not be as large as it should. Will ye hae a wee hauf Willie?

Och Aye - let's hae wan fur the road.

Halfers To share the cost of something. Dae ye want tae go halfers oan a fish supper?
Half shut knife  Looking depressed, annoyed or tired. Ye've goat a face like a half shut knife.

Welcome back to work - how was the holiday?

Halfwye Half Way  
Ham Shank Wank - Masterbate  
Hame Home There's nae place like hame.

Just another nine months and I get out of Barlinnie - where I have been pleasing Her Majesty.

Hamework The work that evil teachers force pupils to do when they should be playing with their Xbox or watching tellie.  
Hampden Roar Score

Hampden Park Glasgow - home of Scottish Football

Hampden Park Glasgow

Hather A heather seller  
Haudin House  
Haun Hand Geeze a haun movin' this piano.
Hauners Help during a fight. If a person is being beaten he may call for his friends to help - 'Hauners'  
Haunless or Handless Butterfingered or Useless.  
Hayonya A request for assistance - term derives from the Hayonya Mountain Rescue and Cat Sanctuary. Hey Jimmay, hayonya will ye, Ah fell oan ma arse.

Dear innocent passer by - I have had twelve pints of ale and find myself a little 'legless' could you carry me home to my dearest wife?

Haver To talk dribble for an extended period of time - ie normal woman chat. Goannae stoap havering and get the dinner oan.

It would appear that you do not have enough housework if you can find time to moan that you have too much to do.

Haw Hey (A general way of attracting someone's attention) Haw, Jimmie, kin ye tell me where the station is?

Excuse me kind sir, could you please direct me to the nearest railway station.

Haud / Hawd Hold  
Hawd / Haud Hold  
Hawd On Hold on   
Hawfwit A simple person, A moron.  
Healthy Good looking  
Heather-An-Dub Slurry used to guild walls of houses.

Some Scottish cottages were constructed from 'heather-an-dub' walls - these were a combination of heather and clay.

Heather Birns Charred stems of heather used for writing  
Heather Fish What children call tadpoles in Caithness
Heather Heidit Having a bad hair day!  
Heather Wight Someone from the Highlands  
Heavy Draught beer. Gies a pint o' heavy an' a bag o' nuts.
Heavy Bongoed Drunk, Intoxicated  
Heavy Scran Good food.  
Heavy Team The gang or hardmen. Used now as a humorous reference to friends who may back you up in an argument provided there is absolutely no risk of an actual fight. Say that wan mair time an' Ah'll call on ma heavy team.

Insult me one more time and I will bring over my friends - they are much more meritous of your insults.

Heedrum hodrum An insulting term used when referring to Gaelic music or dance. Oh look whit's oan the telly, it's inither wan o' yon Heilin' Dance program - och heedrum hodrum Ah cannae be arsed wae that.

I really do not want to watch Strictly Come Highland Dancing.

Hee Haw Nothing, Zilch. Nullity. Zero. Bugger All.

Hee Haw
Ned speak for the English expression ‘bugger all’. Often used as part of the courting ritual between Ned and Nedette. The Ned will inquire, “Fancy a shag?” The Nedette will reply indignantly “Ur gettin’ hee haw!” Fifteen minutes later they’re going at it like dogs in heat at the nearest bus shelter.
[From Ned Speak by Stuart McLean]


Heehaw                       Nothing at all   
Heid Head  
Heid - Keep the Don't get angry. Awe cum oan, keep the heid, Ah wiz only joking when Ah said you were a tight fisted wee edgit.

Do not get angry I was only joking when I insulted your generosity and intelligence.

Heidache Headache Ah've goat a heidache.

Coming to bed drunk! Well your getting hee haw tonight.

Heid Bummer
The boss  
Heider To head a ball or a Glasgow kiss  
Heidy or Heidie The headmaster  
Heidy Header, the ball  


Hen Something all girls get called, substitute for 'darling', 'sweetheart', 'doll' 'hey you' etc.  
Here you To demand someones attention  



Her Majesty’s Pleasure

A stint in prison  
Het The person who is 'it' during a game of tig. (For anybody over the age of 20 - tig was a game played without the aid of an X-Box - in which you actually ventured out of the sanctuary of the house and moved your legs and forward and backward motion in order to propel your body along the road.]

Kiss-Catch was the only game in which being het was actually a good thing.

Hickey A love bite Hey look at that wee Alice hiz goat a hickey.

Christ my darling daughter is growing fast - it's hard to believe that she'll be six next month.


Love Bite - Hickey

Hid Had  
Hielan The Highlands.  
Hielanman's Umbrella The section of sheltered pavement on Argyle Street beneath the railway bridge leading to Central Station. It was often used as a meeting point for people travel by train from the Highlands.

Glasgow Central railway station - Hielanman's Umbrella

Glasgow Central railway station - Hielanman's Umbrella

Highland Games Highland games are events held in Scotland and other countries as a way of celebrating Scottish and Celtic culture and heritage, especially that of the Scottish Highlands. Certain aspects of the games are so well known as to have become emblematic of Scotland, such as the bagpipes, the kilt, and the heavy events, especially the caber toss. While centred on competitions in piping and drumming, dancing, and Scottish heavy athletics, the games also include entertainment and exhibits related to other aspects of Scottish and Gaelic culture. Visit the website for for information on highland games:


Highland Games


Tossing the Caber - Dornoch Highland Gathering

Answers that old question "What do Scotsmen wear under the kilt?"

What do Scotsmen wear under the kilt

Hing aboot Hang around / Do nothing Ur you gonnae hing aboot here awe day or ur ye goin' tae the pub?

Have you got nothing better to do than gardening?

Hing aff us Leave us alone  
Hingoot Whore, woman of ill-repute. Slut.

Legal Slut Area in Glasgow

Legal Slut Area in Glasgow

sexy slut girl

Hings  Hangs  
Hirple Walk with a limp  
Hoachie                       Unusually lucky  
Hoachin Full of, bursting at the seems  
Hoachin Covered in lice or other undesirables Yon Mary MacIntyre is pure hoachin so she is.

Mary MacIntyre keeps refusing to go out with me.

Hoarses Horses  
Hoat Hot  
Hogmanay Hogmanay is the Scots word for the last day of the year and is synonymous with the celebration of the New Year. It is normally only the start of a celebration which lasts through the night until the morning of New Year's Day (1st of  January). Hogmanay  is probably a derivation of the Northern French dialect word hoguinané

Glasgow Hogmanay 2010

Hon, Hawn Hand  
Honkin Smelling. disgusting or very bad Yon Buchie is pure honkin man - pass me the boatle.

No mater how much it hurts I'm going to get pissed.

Honner (Hander) - people that step in for you in a fight.  


obscure noun

A hoodie is a sweatshirt with a hood and is an invaluable garment for a Ned. Not only does it hide his identity from prying CCTV cameras but during sex it offers him anonymity and thus protection from expensive paternity suits.

[From Ned Speak by Stuart McLean]

Little Ned Riding Hood

Little Ned Riding Hood hoodie girl

Hoose House  
Hooter Nose - especially when referring to a big one.

A Big Hooter

Horti A form given to motorist by the Police (HORT1)  
Hotty A weirdo  
How?                           Used instead of why  
Howff A public house - usually a non trendy traditional men's pub ie filthy.

Scotia Pub (Howff) Glasgow

Scotia Pub Glasgow

Howfin Smelly Your howfin so you ur.

Gosh, I believe you forgot to spray yourself with your usual WD40 deodorant.

Howk Dig. Particularly used for digging for coal and potatoes. Yon tattie howker is pure tottie.

That girl who has a summer job digging up the potatoes should really be a fashion model.

Huckled Arrested by the Police  
Hud Had  
Hudgie To get a ride on the back of a bike or vehicle. Hey Jean, geeza hudgie on yer bike and I'll show you ma willie.

I am a complete prick.


Hadn't He hudnae a clue about whit wiz goin' oan.

He was a manager so had no idea what was happening in the business.

Huey (eg “Shouting on Huey”) Projectile vomit  
Humdinger Something or someone that is extraordinary She's a wee humdinger.

Look at that girl with the ultra short mini skirt on!! I wouldn't mind giving her one!!!!

Humpin’ Procreating up a back close  
Humphey Backit A person with a humph  
Hun Rangers supporter / Protestant  
Hunner Hundred Ah've goat hunners of burds so Ah huv.

Sadly I do not have a girlfriend for I am a piece of lowlife and no girl would even spit on me.


Hunners and Thousands

hundreds & thousands

Hurl A lift or ride (particularly on the back off a vehicle) Gies a hurl oan yer gocart.
Huv  Have  
Huvin' Having  
Huz Has  
Huznae Hasn't  

From Ned Speak

by Stuart McLean

Her Majesty’s Pleasure
Most Neds are at some stage detained ‘at Her Majesty’s pleasure’ - usually in solitary at a high security prison. Upon release they explain their absence rather more romantically by saying, “Ah’m a spy wae ra MI5 but dinnae tell emdy”.

Home Cooking
passive verb
Spurred on by the likes of Jamie Oliver and Gordon Ramsey more and more Neds are taking to home cooking. For the really adventurous this entails stuffing a stir fry in the microwave for twenty seconds while opening six bottles of Lanliq.


Ned Speak - Learn  the lingo of the Scottish Ned

glasgow slang words


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Scottish / Glaswegian Word List - click for more details: 






Hail or Hale



Half or Hauf


Half shut knife 


Ham Shank



Hampden Roar





Haunless or Handless




Haud or Hawd

Hawd or Haud

Hawd On




Heather Birns

Heather Fish

Heather Heidit

Heather Wight


Heavy Bongoed

Heavy Scran

Heavy Team

Heedrum hodrum

Hee Haw



Heid - Keep the


Heid Bummer


Heidy or Heidie




Here you


Her Majesty’s Pleasure





Hielanman's Umbrella

High Heid Yins

Highland Games

Hing aboot

Hing aff us










Hon, Hawn
















Huey (eg “Shouting on Huey”)



Humphey Backit










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John Logie Baird and Television : Images Across Space by yon smart guy Dr. Douglas Brown

John Logie Baird

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NOTE: The contents of this site are copyright Stuart McLean / Stuart Macfarlane and should not be used in any way without permission. Many of the images on the site have been submitted by visitors - we believe these to be copyright free - however, if you own copyright to any, please let us know and they will be removed or suitable attribution included.

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